Murderous editors

“Editing is just like writing, except hateful, and in reverse. Instead of birthing words and ideas out of nothing, you’re murdering them in cold blood, culling them like sickly sheep weakening the flock.”

Robert Brockway, Cracked.com

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“….I’ve still got all my points saved on my computer somewhere, and I’d be happy to regurgitate them here. I’m offering you my pre-digested leftovers, basically.”

Online conversation between two writers for Cracked.com

It’s not how fast you type, it’s how you use your fingers

“I’m mulling over a story. I think I know what direction I’m going, but haven’t put pen to paper.”

“Don’t put pen to paper. Put finger to keyboard. It tends to be faster.”

“That sounds dirty.”

“Well, that depends on whose keyboard you’re putting your fingers to….”

Exchange between unidentified writer and editor

Well, it’s better than the balsamic vinegar of readership that other sites have

“We serve a hive mind, feeding the sucrose syrup of readership into the damp food pockets of our editor so that his young are nourished and soon to hatch.”

Unnamed writer for Cracked.com