“Beer pong is also known as Beirut, depending on where you’re from (although what ping pong balls, plastic cups and beer has to do with the capital of Lebanon is anybody’s guess. We assume it has to do with getting bombed. Repeatedly).”
Tim Parent, Cracked.com
“Just squeeze a stumpy orange dick and watch fear come yodeling towards you in a pair of fat dancing ghost pants.”
Rich Wallace, Cracked.com, on an inexplicable children’s toy
“The entire practice is insane and stupid. I know this. It puts me in a permanent blind spot; an unannounced lane change will guaranteed kill me; I essentially volunteer to become the meat in a crushing steel sandwich.”
Ezekiel Buchheit, Cracked.com, on lane-splitting on a motorcycle
“Ryan Giggs is suing Twitter. That’s like being stabbed and suing the knife.”
Via Facebook
“Playing poker online is like being mugged without the company.”
Lucy Porter
“Trauma Center: During most of the game, you feel like you are playing Space Invaders on someone’s stomach.”
Via TV Tropes
Bad Metaphors 