“Your hand, while firm and masculine, is as soft as a velour child.”
Zapp Brannigan, Futurama
“Your hand, while firm and masculine, is as soft as a velour child.”
Zapp Brannigan, Futurama
“I know from experience that my men have the all artistic talent of a cluster of colorblind hedgehogs, in a bag.”
Edmund Blackadder
“It’s like a pikachu… that’s not electric.”
Karl’s little sister, describing a mouse
“A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice.”
Homer Simpson
“You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair.”
Anchorman, Ron Burgundy, to his dog
“Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.”
Nelson Muntz, The Simpsons
“Hi. It’s like hello, only shorter.”
“Ryan Giggs is suing Twitter. That’s like being stabbed and suing the knife.”
Via Facebook
“Playing poker online is like being mugged without the company.”
Lucy Porter
“If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.”
Zapp Branigan, Futurama
“Disease and deprivation stalk our land, like two giant stalking things.”
Edmund Blackadder
“You should treat your aircraft like you treat your woman: get in her five times a day and take her to heaven and back!”
Lord Flashheart, Blackadder
“Sure, it’s quiet, for a diesel. But that’s like being well-behaved… for a murderer.”
Jeremy Clarkson, on diesel cars
“A nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.”
Homer Simpson
“You look like a million dollars, all green and wrinkly.”
Older-than-time joke
“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.”
Forrest Gump
“Trauma Center: During most of the game, you feel like you are playing Space Invaders on someone’s stomach.”
Via TV Tropes
“It’s a bit like the ideal home show, if your ideal home is one that’s just been blown up by a camera-guided six-kilogram fragmentation bomb.”
Lauren Laverne, on a Libyan arms sale
“You’re like a fine wine. You should be kept in a cellar for years.”
Older-than-time joke
I haven’t seen so many dirty snouts and slimy arseholes crammed into such a small space since I last looked inside a sausage.
Charlie Brooker, Newswipe, on politicians
“… A Justin Beiber fan insulting Rebecca Black is like someone gargling a mouthful of skunk piss having a go at the dog for letting one off.”
Charlie Brooker, defending Rebecca Black