Get over yourselves, people!

For those of you who keep emailing us, we KNOW they’re similes.

You’re not being smart. You’re not being helpful. And by pointing out that we have similes on here, you’re not demonstrating that you have a bigger penis than us. In fact, the collective Voltron penis formed by all of our members’ members (even the female ones) will easily pistol-whip your little twig.

See, now THAT’s a metaphor.

Bad Metaphors is not a literary site. It’s supposed to be a place to go for a smile or a laugh. If you can’t handle the fact that we post examples of both metaphors and similes, maybe you’ll have more fun at Wikipedia.

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Good Tip: 50 office-speak phrases to avoid

Here are 50 office-speak phrases we love to hate, according to BBC News.

Some of our favorites:

“Going forward”

“Idea showers”

“Incentivise”

“Let’s touch base about that offline”

“Low hanging fruit”

“Conversate”

“360-degree thinking”

“Get all my ducks in a row”

“At the end of the day”

“Cascading down”

“Actioning”

“You can’t have your cake and eat it, so you have to step up to the plate and face the music.”

Anyone care to add their own?

Burying the cliche: “Dig your own grave”

We love the phrase, “dig your own grave.”

Unfortunately, it’s just another tired cliche by now, so we’d like to update it for 2011. What are some other ways you can tell someone they’re only creating trouble for themselves?

Here are a few we thought of:

“Fill your own urn.”

“Step on your own landmine.”

“Punch in your own launch codes.”

“Build your own jet-propelled car.”

“Stamp FAIL on your own forehead.”

“Buy your own ticket to Ciudad Juarez.”

“Troll your own blog.”

Any others you can think of?

Good Tip: Avoiding mixed metaphors and clich├ęs

Here’s an article about proper metaphor usage from About.com. Contains both good and bad examples!