Too bad there’s no way to set the machine on “free play”

“Just because you put nice tokens in doesn’t mean sex comes out.”

Commenter Digaro, on nice guys

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The pubic hair of South America

“It’s not a ‘Brazilian.’ That is a creepy euphemism, which like all euphemisms, hides ugly truth. Also, ‘Brazilian’ is the most ridiculous euphemism for a bald vagina, since Brazil is largely thick, untamed jungle. If any country looks like pubes, it’s Brazil. A shaved bald vagina should be called ‘the Utah Salt Flats,’ but who would ask for that?”

Tom Cowell, The Frisky

So what do the good little avocados get?

“You look so adorably geeky. I want to douse you in green paint and spank you like a disobedient avocado.”

Message on OKCupid