Incoming!

“You know what we called fruits and vegetables at my school? Nerd grenades.”

John Stewart, The Daily Show, on schools offering healthier lunches to students

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Better than being like the planet Hoth

“Seriously, man. Jews. We’re Jews. When you look at our pubic hair, it should look like Ewoks should be in there….

“That’s right, the foliage in my pubic hair is like the planet Endor. That’s what I’m suggesting.”

John Stewart, the Daily Show, on Anthony Weiner’s lack of body hair

Better start bailing

“I’m beginning to think these are not perfect storms. I’m beginning to think these are regular storms and we have a shitty boat.”

John Stewart, the Daily Show, on the constant mentions of a “perfect storm” of events leading to a stock market crash